Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
