Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize