are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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