um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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