I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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