All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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