gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
