Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
