Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
We got so high we made milksteak
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
