Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
