i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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