i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize