Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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