Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What drink are we having for lunch?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
