this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
