Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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