I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
