he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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