I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
