have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
