Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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