I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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