I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
