We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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