is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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