He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
