Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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