wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
When are your genitals available?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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