we have officially lost it.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
