There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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