Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
