Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
