the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
