So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize