Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
