'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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