all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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