I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
