You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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