the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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