does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's never too late to be topless.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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