I love black thongs
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
