last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
