At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
