I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So. Much. Porn.
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