I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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