we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Randomize
