why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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