whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Randomize
