Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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