so explain again why im purple
no
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
