Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
