The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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