True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
