just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
