1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
