bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
