the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
