if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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