My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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