if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
