I would go down on you faster than GM stock
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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