Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
