im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We need to rekindle our bromance
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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