Need sex. Gaining weight.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I can't turn off my feet"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
