he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
