Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
