I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
